May 20, 2015

Need some strength....

I have something very personal to say. I went to work yesterday on the 19th of May to have it be an ordinary day. I am now carpooling with a coworker and got back to my house after the drive of getting off work at 5 o'clock. When I arrived home I had a family friend there waiting for me. I was a bit confused to see her. She asked me for my keys. Something went off in my head that there was something majorly wrong, but of course, I didn't know what. I gave her my keys and waited to find out what was wrong. I never ever would have guessed what it was. I was told that my brother is no longer with us. My stepdad got home from work that afternoon to find him still laying in bed. He went in to wake him up to find that he had passed away. The last anyone had heard from him was later that night. He had friends that he was supposed to go golfing with early the next morning, but never answered his phone when they were trying to get a hold of him. He is known for sleeping in and not being the easiest one to wake up, so no one thought anything of it. I really don't know what to do right now. I never thought I would see the day I would watch my own brother be walked out of his house in a body bag. Part of me feels shocked and like it isn't real. That this is somehow one of the sickest, meanest pranks anyone could do to me and my family. The other part of me tells me he is no longer here. We are not sure what the cause of death is as of right now. We are hoping to find out sometime tonight or tomorrow. He is 8 years younger than me. He would have been turning 19 this July. He just graduated high school. This isn't supposed to happen. I keep going through memories of him and I together. We had so many. He had so much life to him. He could make anyone smile no matter who it was. He was the funniest person I knew and could make us all laugh while he kept a straight face the whole time. I don't know how I am going to get through this but I am going to try my hardest to stay strong. My family needs me to keep going and I am going to do my best to make sure that happens. I wanted you all to know this because I don't know when I will be on my blog again. I don't have the strength or will power to read or do anything more than this. I hope you all understand. I am not giving up my blog completely. I think once I get over the initial shock and pain, I am going to need you guys more than ever. Any prayers would be great, my family is sure going to need them in this horrible, troubled time. R.I.P. Cody White July 29, 1996 - May 19, 2015. Your sister loves you so very much. You were taken from us way before your time, but you will live in the hearts of all of us and never be forgotten.

5 comments:

  1. Something similar happened to my ACC/Forensics teacher this year. I don't have the perfect words to make everything alright. All I can say is that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers and that the pain will pass. I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason and everyone has a purpose. Stay strong for your family and for yourself even if that means screaming, crying, or throwing things. You will see him again someday, but until then live the life you know he would want you too. You have another angel looking over you.

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  2. oh, how horrible for you all. Gone much too soon. Be kind to yourself during this dreadful time. Condolences

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  3. Oh my goodnesss! I am so sorry to hear this, Amber!! I am thinking of you and your family!

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  4. Amber, I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

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